New Yorker Meets Chickens: Week 2

Here we are at  Week 2. 

The chicks are a little bigger, kids are a little less afraid, 

they are still living in my bathroom at 85 degrees, 

but mostly life has moved on just as it always has. 

(And yes, sadly, it's funny to see my kids come out of the bathroom

 flush from the heat). 

They eat and drink A-LOT! Much more than we realized. They go through their feeder full of food each day. And can I be honest here? They poop more than...wow...more than I ever could have thought! I change out their box of fine pine shavings every two days! It's something to see. Me, holding the box and trying to hold my nose...fun times!

But they are still soooo cute!

Gilligan's Island: A 14th Birthday Theme!

My eldest son enjoys creating movies, so what better plan for a birthday party than to have his friends take part in a movie he wrote and directed?! Right now he thinks the show 'Gilligan's Island" is hysterical, so he wrote a movie script called: Gilligan's Island: Super Help or Super Hindrance- in other words, Gilligan meets Super Heroes! For days he worked on the script. Copies were made. Invitations sent. Costumes collected. Then the birthday party!

Behind the scene shots of the filming!

 Hubby was home early from work to film the movie!

(In the background to the right you can see our attempt at making a "hut" 

and to the left is the table the castaways ate at).

Below: Gilligan (Birthday boy) and the Professor
(I could not find a solid red, long sleeve shirt with a white collar anywhere!
If any of you know where I can purchase one, I'd love to hear from you!)

                             Here are the Skipper, Mr. Howell, Gilligan and the Professor

               (Mrs. Howell, Ginger and Marianne were on a week's vacation on the other side of the island!)

Below: The Full Cast

(Eight preteen and teen-age boys-'Superman' is hiding)

After the movie was filmed, my husband  worked on editing it and burning it to a DVD.

The kids had dinner, and birthday cake.

After all the celebrating had been done we all sat around and 

watched the very movie they created.

Each child will get their own DVD of the movie along with a thank card for all their help.

I think that no matter what the age, everyone wants to have a special birthday party. 

It comes once a year. Just one special day a year we get to lavish extra love on our children
 in what ever shape it takes. Here we made a party around a possible dream
my son has of making family fun movies.

I think he walked away from this party knowing
 we love and support him and so do his friends.

After the party my son asked me if it would be okay to write another 'Gilligan's Island' show and have his friends come back and film it. Of course I said it was fine to do in the summer. Seriously, how cool would it be for him and his friends make show after show together? I love the idea! 

I Know Fear

The other day I was having a heart-to-heart with one of my daughters. She had gotten her siblings upset with her and I realized that it was time for mama to step in and make things all better. As we talked I kept hearing her use the words, "I'm just afraid." One problem after another boiled down to her being afraid. I spoke with her about fighting her fears and I quoted the Scriptures, but nothing seemed to set her free or even connect with her. Then it hit me, "She doesn't think that I have ever been afraid!" I rolled up my proverbial sleeves, sat her down and got to work.

I asked her if she thought I had fears as a child. She told me, "No." The only thing left to do was to invite her into my childhood. I took my childhood from off the top shelf, dusted it off, opened it up and allowed her in. I shared with her how I was the youngest of not only seven children, but the youngest of five girls. I told her how my older sisters mistreated me and how I was always left alone. From my sisters abuse I became very unsure of myself and became afraid to even voice my own opinion. She seemed sorry for me, but that wasn't what I was going for. I wanted her to know that I know fear.

In my mind, I turned through many chapters of my childhood and stopped when I fell upon the chapters on my father. I didn't want to open it. I didn't want to read it. I didn't want her to know. But she needed to know me. She needed to know that she was not alone in her fears. She needed to hear that there is victory. I slowly began telling her about my father...it was hard.

I remember being a young teenager, my mother had recently walked out on my father and abandoned us which left my father as fierce as ever. The deepest fear of him motivated me to be perfect. I did everything right. I served him and never got in his way, except one night.

We were having dinner, my father, my sister and I, when my father began talking about how much he hated us. I listened and stayed completely still, and never uttered a word. As I sat motionless I realized that my food had become cold and soon he would yell at me for not eating. As politely and quietly as I could I stood up, and walked toward the microwave with my plate to heat up my dinner. After a few steps I heard my father's chair kick back from the table and crash to the floor. I then heard his footsteps race towards me. He grabbed me by the back of the neck and threw me across the kitchen. Raging after me, he then grabbed me by the front of the neck and picked me up off the floor. He pinned me against the wall, my feet not able to reach the ground. He yelled and yelled at me. His face puffed and became red. His screaming seemed endless as I gasped for breath. "YOU WILL NEVER WALK OUT ON ME!!! YOU WILL NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON ME!!! Lastly, he punched me across the face. I lost consciousness. He dropped my body to the ground and left...

My daughter's sweet eyes were large and filled with tears-mine were too. I held her and said, "I know fear." I know what it is to be rejected by my mother, my father and my sisters. I know what it is to feel unsure of myself. BUT I also know what it is to be grafted into the family of God, (Romans 10). I know what it is to be loved so much by God that He sent Jesus to us. (John 3). I know what it is to face my fears with God and have victory. I know what it is to have joy in all situations.

As we held each other and cried, I kissed her gently on top of her head. She said, "You do understand fear." I said, yes, and reminded her that she will never, ever have the kind of fear like I did. I told her that she is in a home filled with people that love her. I explained how siblings and others may tease her (which I cannot stand), but that they really do love her. She agreed, smiled and nestled in my arms for a bit longer.

Quiet Time for Mommy

Having my very own quiet time with the Lord

 has been a challenge since having children.

I've been challenged these last fourteen years! 

There have been times when I could find a quiet time,

a place of solitude and then there have been times...

well, let's just say... I've struggled.

Recently, the Lord gave me a vision of this-(picture below)

A lamb rejoicing, dancing, and full of joy before it's Shepherd.

It reads: "Quiet Please: Mommy is with the Shepherd"

So, I went ahead and painted it on a canvas,

and have hung it on my bedroom door when it's my alone time/Bible time. 

I can even hang it on my door knob!

(I hang it there when I want the shorter members of my family

 to clearly know NOT to disturb the Mama).

I now use it

 as a way to communicate to my children

that their mommy needs and wants time alone with God.

It's just a simple painting that

sweetly reminds my children to respect my time alone with

God, my Shepherd.

A sweet and dear friend saw my canvas

and wanted one for her own. 

She encouraged me to make and sell them!

Soooooo, now, I am doing just that!

If you are interested in a,

"Quiet Please, Mommy is with the Shepherd,"

canvas door hanger,

 I am selling them for $10

or $12 if personalized.

I think any young person would appreciate one too!

 Or the Shepherd holding the lamb...this or the other 

can be personalized.

There really is nothing quite like,

Solace with God.

Dare I Say the 'S' Word?

I don't like using the 's' word, especially about myself, but my heart has been pricked again and again until I was forced to finally admit it...I'm selfish.  I didn't think I was being selfish, but the Lord knows my heart and He pegged it accurately-selfishness is at the root of some of my issues.

Okay, let me give you the biggest selfish act that I have had to deal with over these last couple of weeks.-"me time." Now, before you say, "Ellen, everyone needs time alone" let me explain. Over the last several months I found myself, for example, doing a job quickly just so I could get it done and somehow find a 'minute of peace.' I even raced through playing a board game with my little one just so I could say, "I played the game with you, and now mommy needs to check her facebook. (!) I noticed I was doing it here and there and not getting any real alone time, nor was I ever satisfied. Before I knew it I would be called by one of the kids and had to jump back into life, but then I was agitated. I was constantly looking for 'me time,' not getting it and feeling frustrated. So, how is this selfish? Well, I wasn't taking time to do the things that I, as a mom, a homeschooling mom and wife, needed to do. I was racing through my work- I was running.

In my quiet time of prayer with the Lord I asked Him, "What am I running for? "What am I running from?" Slowly He began to show me. I was feeling overwhelmed with my responsibility of homeschooling my six children. It felt like it was all too much and I was drowning with the all the book reports, reading, grading tests, and preparing their report cards. I was remembering how I used to have these great Bible times with the children and now they weren't so great. "How do I get it back?" I was thinking about, "How do I cook, clean and teach the kids and somehow find time for me?  I just couldn't face it. And then I thought, "What's the point of facing this when I know what the answer was..."Get back to work, Ellen!" I have to be honest with you I was scared to face it.  But as I did face it with God. He gave me a new schedule and plan for getting in all my work with the children each day, and even a really wonderful Bible time.

Okay, so, here is the new schedule:

6:30am - 7am        Breakfast
7am - 7:30am        Clean up breakfast, get dressed, do morning chores
7:30am -8am         Bible Time (Totally psyched about our time together!)
8am-9:30am          Teaching time with two youngest
9:30am-10:30am   Teaching time with my 6th grader
10:30am-11:30am Teaching time with my 4th  graders
11:30am                Clean up (a little) prepare lunch
1pm-3pm              Teaching time with my 8th grader

(My eighth grader and I work in the kitchen now and I'm finding when he doesn't need me, I stay in the kitchen, but start preparing dinner. By the time I finish working with him, my diner is just about done).

School is officially done for the day at 3pm-that is for me! That includes giving quizzes and tests, grading them, marking it down on the progress reports, checking homework, review work and new work.

At three o'clock I feel like I have not only spent good quality time with each of my children, but I have accomplished what is in my heart to do. At three o'clock I tell my kids that I want to have my Bible time and I do. No one interrupts me. I am alone for about half and hour with the Lord. I come out feeling refreshed and ready to face the rest of my day.

In the evenings I am not sitting at the table grading tests, or preparing for the next day. I am restful. I have each evening free to spend time with my husband, work on my blog, complete the Pre-K curriculum I am writing, bake...whatever. I no longer have a pit in my stomach full of fear of all the things I have to do and get done because it is already done. I feel confident now. I feel in charge. The kids have quickly fallen in love with the schedule and it is running smoothly. (I have to tweak the little ones schedule for the 10:30am -11:30am time, but I confident that the Lord will reveal to me what I should do).

It amazes me how Mommy-life is complete sacrifice again and again. Dying to selfish ways...again and again. I thought it was going to hurt more, but funny, it's not as bad as I thought. And I realized too, that I didn't need all the alone time I had been looking for, because it wasn't a need for true alone time as much as a chance to run away from my many responsibilities. I don't think I ever thought mommyhood would be this hard and yet so rewarding at the same time.

I hope you got something out of all this...I know it's my struggle with selfishness and fear of responsibility, but in some way I hope you benefit from it. I hope you see a loving God who knew my heart better than I did. A God who is gentle, loving and forgiving. A God who really does have a plan for each of our lives. I am completely blessed by the schedule He gave to me, but you may feel overwhelmed by it and that's okay- it's my schedule, not yours. Ask Him to show you, if you need help ordering your day, what will bring order and peace to your day and your heart.