Saturday, September 17, 2011

My Name is Ellie.

Hi, my name is Ellie. No, it's not the name given to me at birth, but it's the name I prefer. At birth, my father, upon finding out that I was not only a girl, but their fifth girl, decided he wanted to name me Helen-after my mother. My mother, on the other hand, did not want a Helen "Jr." in the house, so somehow they backed peddled into the name Ellen and here I am.

Growing up I was known around the house and among close relatives as Ellie. I've been told that it was my father who again named me, nicknamed me, Ellie. In more official, social situations I was only known as Ellen. Funny how not even my friends called me Ellie. It was only in my home.

My father. Where do I begin? Simply...a man I was terrified of. Even to this day, now I haven't seen him in six years, but as up to the last days my eyes saw his, yes, I was terrified of him. So, when in his nicer moments to be lovingly called "Ellie!" It meant a great deal to me.

I've thought about it again and again, "Why should the name Ellie mean so much to me when given to me by someone who has brought so much pain into my life? Strange. You would think I would hate the name. But no, I love it. The name "Ellen" sounds so serious. So, "You're in trouble, Ellen!"  But how can you possibly be in trouble with the name Ellie? I never was. Anytime he called my nick name out it was with affection and love and I would come running to him.

I know that our father on earth in many ways, sadly, is how we see our Father in heaven. Our Father in heaven, I've come to learn, is nothing like the father I grew up with. My earthly father was quick to fall into rage. My Father in heaven is slow to anger. My father on earth was quick to lash out and punish. My Father in heaven is just and patient, wanting all to  come to salvation.  My father was unkind, unjust, unloving. My Father in heaven -not so.  So why, do I cherish the name Ellie?

Well, I talked about it with my heavenly Father. (My prayer time is just me talking with Him). I believe He told me that in the times where my earthly father was loving, even gentle, those were the times that I had glimpses of Him, my true Father. That my heavenly Father only calls me Ellie. That He delights in me all the time. Even when I sin He has compassion on me-not rage.

So, if you see me and would like to call me Ellie please do so. I would love it. No worries if you continue to call me Ellen-I've come to like that name too. Would you like to know why I don't mind the name Ellen? Would you like yet another story? Okay, here we pulled it out of me. Oh, this is already too long-okay, until next time =D

1 comment:

  1. You have always been and will always be my ellie!!!! Actually I like to spell it, Elly because it combines both our names..knit together sisters made sisters by our Heavenly Father!!!