Friday, September 2, 2011

How Do We Get Resurrection Power?

The resurrection- it's not just for the "lost" to be set free. It's bigger. It's even, dare I say in some situations, more powerful than that. The resurrection never quits. It does not have a "use once only" label with it. It also does not have an expiration date. As powerful as the resurrection is- taking a person who was living in sin, never heard the name Jesus, and bound for despair and turning that life completely around -it could still do more.

When the Lord was beginning to reveal to me fear in my heart I felt a little rumble in my spirit. Something like the beginning of an earthquake. I didn't like it, but I was curious. I thought on the fear a little more. The rumbling shook me. That scared me. I knew that if I allowed, (And the word "allowed" is key here), God expose the inner workings of my heart I could be in for a full on earthquake!

I wanted to run and hide. I wanted to close up the box that He was trying to open and bury it again. I wanted to pretend with God that that fear didn't exist and go on with life as before. I was ashamed that it was even in there.
 I had a choice to make:
- be fake or real.
- hide or expose.
- bondage or freedom.
 HUGE decision for me. In absolute fear I chose for God to go deeper.

Have you ever seen the show, "Get Smart?" The part where he is trying to get into head quarters?  He goes into a telephone booth, and goes down. Then doors open and shut behind him. He walks down a long corridor and more doors shut. Well, the journey with God to my heart was like that, but with no doors closing behind me. I was completely open for Him to go deep into my heart and everything stayed open. I don't remember a time in my life where ever felt so exposed. So vulnerable.

His touch was so gentle. As things came up, I confessed my sin. Sin of unforgiveness. Sin of fear. The more He exposed, the more I confessed. humility is pretty important. I didn't argue. I didn't try to explain it away.  I just sat and let these ugly feelings come up and took full responsibility for it.  In confession, there is freedom. In humility there is freedom.

We can be "saved" and live a life really not knowing Jesus. Live a life with fears, sin, rejection, shame, anger, tied up in little boxes and stored in our hearts. We have another choice after salvation. A choice of freedom. Am I saying it's easy? Absolutely not. The deeper we have buried things the harder it is to uproot. And I'll even say, the longer it's been down there-gosh, that makes it harder too.

BUT freedom.
BUT Jesus.

To know HIM more- it makes it all worth it. That may sound cliche-"It's all worth it," but think about it- do we really want to be here on this earth living another day the same as we have always been? Another day being offended by the same words spoken by insensitive people, living in fear, feeling hopeless? In my heart of hearts I wanted change-afraid to get it, but wanted it.

I said before that I want to do big things for God. How can I when I have years of "issues" holding me and weighing me back? It was clear-I needed to face the ugly fear in my heart and what better tour guide then Jesus. He is so gentle. so patient. so compassionate. So loving. HE is soooo amazing. allowing the resurrection power to come into a deep and dark place in my heart was - I have no words-other than -freedom.

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." (Matthew 16: 24-25)

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