Friday, June 28, 2013


I have never, ever heard a mother tell her daughter, "Be A Woman!," but I sure have heard a father tell his son, "BE A MAN!"

I remember the first time I actually heard it said was just a few years ago when we were staying at a friend's house. The two families, mine and our host, were all outside talking and watching the children play, when my friend's son fell hard off the slide and scrapped up both knees. The child was three-years old and began running toward his mom for comfort when the father said, "STOP CRYING!" - "BE A MAN!" I was shocked. The child stopped running and stood a few feet from his mother crying. The mother waited for orders from her husband, but he would not allow her to coddle her boy. As I stood there watching the blood drip down his knees I thought, "What lesson of manhood is he really trying to teach his son?"

What is a man? A male who doesn't cry- ever? Even in the midst of pain, embarrassment, or shock? A male who can bleed out and at the same time keep playing and laughing with friends? Something inside tells me- probably not. What is a man? I think many men are trying to figure that out for themselves and I know as a mom raising three boys I would like to know too. So, I started to study my husband because I really think he is a MAN - a Godly MAN. One character trait I found in him that brought my heart comfort and safety and determined what a man really is, is the trait of repentance. My husband is a humble man. I know he is strong, brave, courageous and can protect me, but he is not brutal. I can come to him with my heart pain or wounds and know that he will apologize and not be harsh with me. He is repentant before the Lord and thus has been able to walk steadily with our Lord. He yearns for God's presence in his life and he can only achieve that if he is humble.

Okay, enough about being a man, the article is on being a woman. So, if I said to one of my three daughters, "BE A WOMAN!" what exactly would I be implying? It certainly wouldn't mean to stop crying because as we all know for a female that is not a possible demand. Would being a woman mean to lie? Gossip? Form cliques? Tease? Discriminate? Be emaciated? Use foul language? Be unforgiving? Maybe to the world, for I see many of those traits in teenage girls, but to those of us who are trying to raise Godly daughters and be Godly females that is not what I would be insinuating.

And although I have seen many ungodly traits in the world of 'women,' sadly I have to say, I have found some Christian women who appear more like the teenage world's view of godless femininity than God's view. There have been women in the church who gossip, form cliques, and discriminate. Christian women who judge and label other women. I have rarely found a young Christian woman who did not struggle with jealousy and competition which has lead them down the road of gossip and the like. As for the older Christian woman I have rarely found one who had a heart to mentor the younger women (Titus 2:3-4) and have a  'Let's do life together' type of attitude. Mind you, I haven't been a Christian woman during my entire walk with Jesus either. I am striving to be more like Jesus with every breath.

So, what would, "BE A WOMAN!" mean? What would that look like? Well, I remember the first time I had read the Proverbs clear through to the end and came across Proverbs 31-"Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character." Now I know many women find it hard to read  because they feel the standard of being a Godly woman is too high, but I must admit that I LOVED it. I did not have Godly, female role models around me as a child and even as an adult it was always hard to find a woman who I wanted to emulate, but with Proverbs 31 it is clearly laid out for us. I didn't look at the list as something I had to accomplish today, but rather goals. I've tried to add new aspects of Proverbs 31 into my life over the years. It has been a slow, but growing process.  I have since desired to aspire to be a Proverbs 31 woman.

For me a woman is one that recognizes the gifts God has put in her, she hones those gifts and she uses them for her family and those around her.  She has great love and respect for her husband. She herself is disciplined and she disciplines her children. She has a heart of love for her family and her house is filled with joy.

Her home is welcoming and her door is always open. She also has open arms to those who need her. She is a female who has a heart for the poor, needy or lost. She is smart and a hard worker. She is wise and is able to instruct those younger than herself. I believe to be a woman is to be gentle, yet brave, and bold and yet in her strength she is humble before the Lord, not stubborn, with an ever listening ear to His voice to guide her and lead her. She is passionate about prayer and the Word of God. She is a woman who never gives up. She keeps stiving, keeps praying, keeps believing for her own spiritual growth and emotional health. She yearns to be whole and healed so she can be used  for God's glory!

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

Proverbs 31:10-31
10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate

Lord, my prayer is that I may be a Proverbs 31 woman. A woman who has a heart devoted to you and the calling you have placed on my life. Help me to trust you to create in me a woman like that of the Proverbs 31 woman. I am yours.

So, I say to all the woman out there who desire to be Godly, myself included, stop being a worldly teenager! I encourage you and charge you to "Be A WOMAN!" That is, a Proverbs 31 woman!

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