I Have a Hope and a Future

A few months ago I wrote an article entitled, "A Blank Horizon." During that time, I have to say, I was really sad. It was hard not knowing the future, not knowing where I was headed, where I was going, not even knowing what my goals were anymore. I guess I had thought that I generally knew my future- you know, the basics, but at that time everything seemed to be changing. I wasn't anxious about the future just sad over seeing all the things I thought I was walking toward slowly disappearing. The road I had been walking on was gone before I knew it and I was just standing there wondering where I was to go to next. It's been almost a year of waiting, and wondering, but now I'm beginning to have hope and I can see a future.

I have read, heard and seen in every Christian book store the Scripture- "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you  hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11) It is a wonderful Scripture and I believe it fully, but had never had that Scripture tested in my life. Before this year I have always had a little glimpse of my future. A little idea of where I was headed-even if it was as small as the very next step I was taking, but this past year I have been standing still. Not one step. I had no path, no road, no where to place my foot next. A complete 'Blank Horizon.' I have had to lay down my dreams, my passions, my hopes for my future and wait. The Scripture says God has a plan --not 'Ellen' has a plan. The Scripture says that  it's a plan with a hope and a future--not put your hope in your plan and in the future you have for yourself. That's been a big lesson. I thought my plan and my ideas for my future were God's plan. Nope. I was terribly wrong. So, I've waited and waited. I have not hoped. I have not dreamed. I actually had to lay it all down and not even think of my future in order to have peace. (And if you know me, that was a hard thing to do).

So, what have I been doing this past year? Well, I have learned to live in the day. Just the day. I wake up, I shower, get dressed, take care of my children, homeschool and do the daily mommy and wife-y things that I've always done. It's funny just how busy I've been. I've put all my energy into my family and I have been busy. It takes alot of energy, time, and prayer to raise my children, keep a beautiful home and be attentive to my loving husband. It's been good, it's been tough, it's been sad and I've learned alot. One lesson has been to not despise the ordinary.  And like every season, I think this season is coming to a close. I'm beginning to see a future again. It's not what I thought it was going to look like, but as my daughter put it, "It's like we're on a treasure hunt! It's exciting to see what God will have for us around the next corner."

"The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave you country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you." (Genesis 12:1) I don't know how Abraham did it. How did he literally just go? He got his stuff, his family and started walking without even knowing where he was walking to. Amazing! Tremendous faith! Deep trust in God! He knew GOD had a plan. He knew God's  plan was a plan of prosperity and safety. A plan with hope and a future and so with faith Abram ventured out.

So, I say to the Lord, "Here am I. Send me!" (Isaiah 6:8) I'm ready to follow you where ever you lead. Whatever my future is I have hope because it's your plan, not mine.