The more I battle fear the more I realize that the opposite of fear is not courage, but faith.
If we trust in the Lord, fear will flee."He trusts in the Lord, let the Lord rescue him. Let him deliver him, since he delights in him. (Psalm 22:8)
"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped." (Psalm 28:7)
"O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you." (Psalm 84:12),
"Guard my life, for I am devoted to you. You are my God, save your servant who trusts in you." (Psalm 86:2)
Long ago the Lord gave me a vision:
I saw a tower. The tower was made of slate pieces. The slate plates were grayish, almost charcoal in color and held together with some form of mud. I remember liking how it looked. (I grew up with a bluish slate walkway in my backyard so there was for me in this vision a fondness for this slate tower structure). Inside the tower the Lord showed me that there was someone living in it. He showed me myself. I saw that I felt safe inside the tower. I was high up at the top where no one could reach me and there was a safety in that. I remember thinking and feeling happy about the tower.
Then I heard the Lord say to me, "Ellen, will you come down from there and let me give you the tower I have built for you?" I remember thinking, "But why Lord? I'm safe- this structure is good for me." He kept saying to me, "Ellen will you come down from there and let me give you the tower I have built for you?" Immediately I felt scared. I knew that I would not disobey the Lord. I knew that eventually I would come down, but in the vision I felt like I had always been in that tower, so long in fact that leaving it would be like leaving my own skin. I remember looking out from the tower and seeing a long skinny road that would lead to my new tower from the Lord. I was afraid to leave. Afraid to walk the path. Afraid of how vulnerable I would be out in the open. Crying, I said 'Yes' to Him. I saw myself leaving the tower.
As I was a safe distance from the tower the Lord began taking it apart slate by slate. It was made of a less sturdy material than I thought- it was crumbling in His hands. He than showed me how each slate plate was formed from hurt and fear from my past. He showed me that I had bricked myself into a tower as a protection from all the hurt I had experienced in my life time. It quickly came falling down to the ground. There was alot of dust and smoke. It was not sturdy. It had not been a safe haven as I had thought. I was sad to see it gone-it meant that I could never go back.
As I turned to walk down the narrow path toward the new tower the Lord had told me He made for me I felt Him with me. I wasn't afraid. I was fine. Then I saw it-the new tower- it was beautiful. It was made of a cinder-block type brick, but smooth and perfect. It was a creamy-white color. The bricks were stacked perfectly on top of each other making a...I don't know if I can describe it, a powerful, round structure. It was strong, solid, and safe. I was welcomed inside - I was safe- really safe. I remember thinking back on the tower I had made and golly, it was so ugly. It was made of slate plates, jagged and rough- sticking out all over and sharp. It was grayish black in color- dark and lonely. It was put together with mud and it was so messy. The difference in the two towers was huge.
I was truly safe inside the tower the Lord had made for me.
After I had received this vision I felt as if a great work had been done in my heart. I can't explain it, but what the Lord showed me through a vision was real. He tore down walls of hurt and fear in my heart and built for me a tower of faith, a place of safety.
When I was younger and someone hurt me I would say things like, "I'll never let her borrow 'that' again." or "I'll never tell her another secret." As I made these vows I was also adding another slate to the wall-bricking myself in and away from others that could potentially hurt me again. I know I will be hurt again and again in this world, but by building my own tower and shutting out people I also shut out the Lord. Through this vision I have learned when someone hurts me the Lord wants me, us, to run to Him, trust Him to bring healing, trust Him to bring protection, trust Him to bring wholeness. Safety comes through faith-a faith knowing that God is on our side- with us in the tower He has made for us.
Soon after the Lord gave me this vision I looked up the word 'tower' in my Bible concordance. I wanted to see what the Bible said about towers-if anything. I found:
"The name of the LORD is a strong tower;
the righteous run to it and are safe." Proverbs 18:10
I ran to my Lord.
I ran to my Strong Tower.
I ran to my Strong Tower.
And I am safe.
Fear has been defeated!!!
Faith is the new heavy weight champion of the world!!!